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See Guns, Lights and Action

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Lights, Action Guns and Video

Posted in Blogging, Film, Lifestyle Evolution, Recreation, Satire, Video, Web 2.0 by wayne.porter on June 10th, 2008

Jim Kukral does his Daily Flip, Sam Harrelson does great how-to’s- see this one on the Amazon Kindle, Scott Jangro (from the days of the Jangro Cam) manages to Vlog too…practically everyone I know does video.

Everyone, except me.

To be frank I simply suck at video- I would much rather podcast. I just cannot get into the vibe…so I made a video about how I feel about making videos. You know how stressful making videos can get. (Yeah- I made alot of of gun videos…)

Target Acquired Video

Thank You For Your Business

P.S. Word to you Brian Clark…Bring on your RPGs Obiwan. I can’t wait for the next ARG.

Popularity: 3% [?]

3D social networking Gaming Net Lifestyle Satire Second Life Social Networks Video Games

Knowing You have Won Second Life

Posted in 3D Social Networks, Gaming, Lifestyle Evolution, Satire, Second Life, Social Networks, Video Games by wayne.porter on December 24th, 2007

Second Life, the wild west of the “metaverse” often requires the ability to acclimate to an idiosyncratic culture and complex jargon. How do you know when you have passed into the realm of the accomplished? That you have mastered enough of the culture to blend in? One or more of the following have happened or probably apply….

1 ) Your think your spouse and children are actly strangely. Rathar than admit you have a problem, the most logical conclusion must be they have been replaced by someone’s ALTs.

2 ) A new resident pulls the most offensive object they can from a freebie box, in this case a set of realistic sculpty canine genitals, and screams. You do not even bat an eye let alone flinch and keep looking for a decent skin. Your friend, a scripter, examines the miniature build and quickly fashions it into a gun.

3 ) Ruth is no longer a name or a book of the Bible, but an unfortunate, yet curable disease where you become a pseudo-hermaphrodite with extremely poor fashion sense. The only cure is a re-bake. This operation requires no flour, sugar, or yeast.

4 ) Getting from here to there becomes a TP while AFK remains AFK, OK is and always will be- KK.

5 ) Sit and push are not activities for a porch swing, but defensive and offensive modes.

6 ) You are concerned about privacy at your private beach front property because of the recent number of invisible tortured prims named _sand_ turning up on your zero mass scanner.

7 ) You see two people dancing poorly in real life and mentally access channel one and think the word “sync”.

8 ) Your friend, an accomplished builder, complains of tennis elbow although he does not play any sports. You try to tell him it could be his reflexive item scanning habits. He doesn’t
even respond when you mention trying to cut a prim or two out of every single, rock, bench, or tree really isn’t worth the time it takes to examine them- which he will systematically do everywhere you go mumbling about “prim conservation”.

9 ) The sim owner calls you a prim whore for using Temp on Rez.

10 ) Alll Santa Claus hats or ill-made sofas left in a sand box are probably shape deformers.

11 ) As an American you begin to use the metric system for land measurement and realize it is actually more efficient.

12 ) A new and ill-informed user comes in world interrupting a conversation with a friend and demands to be taken to the “sex rooms”. Your friend yawns and asks politely- “What species?”, explaining to the neophyte that it pays to be very specific on the grid.

13 ) You can’t wait to get home to rez your gifts.

14 ) You know that people wearing boxes are the defacto cultural signal of someone negotiating a complex GUI and not a fashion statement, or they may have no payment on file.

15 ) ‘xcite has nothing to do with search, but a place where some people go to upgrade their virtual sex life.

16 ) ll(insert crude word here) is really funny.

17 ) Marriage becomes partnering and usually lasts the span of an incubation cycle of sea monkeys. From start to dissolution it costs less than 50 cents if the Linden holds at 260.

18 ) You know that the Linden is a product and not currency.

19 ) Achieving orbit is normally a “bad thing” requiring you to re-log, although you may have tried a parachute more than once just to see how long it took.

20 ) Your friend tells you he has “won” Second Life. You ask him what level did he reach?

Popularity: 5% [?]

3D social networking attention E Commerce Personal Privacy Satire Second Life Social Networks Video Games web2.0

Marty and Joe Return

Posted in 3D Social Networks, Attention, E-Commerce, Personal Privacy, Satire, Second Life, Social Networks, Video Games, Web 2.0 by wayne.porter on August 7th, 2007

I have been thinking about bringing back “Marty and Joe” on a wider scope. For those who don’t know Marty and Joe were two evil executives I used to use as conversation points years ago to focus in on issues through the use of satire. They had no morals, no real brains beyond being conniving, and everything revolved around how to screw over their partners. They were the worst of everything rolled into a litigation happy package. Most people saw it for what it was, others actually took some of the dialogs at face value. The conversations were merely meant to stimulate thinking about worse case scenarios…and sometimes real scenarios or scenarios that “could be”. Sometimes I would “interview” them, sometimes we just got a glimpse into a conversation.

How would Marty and Joe respond to this prediction about Second Life and spartan living?

The authors of the “Metaverse Roadmap,” a briefing document that explores the possible development of virtual worlds over the next 20 years, agree that a boom within a decade is likely. Their research has indicated that by 2016, half of us will have interactive avatars, with those aged between 13 and 30 spending around 10 hours a week socializing in 3-D visual environments.

And the draw of virtual worlds may encourage some of us to forsake our mundane real-life surroundings for a luxury life online.

The Metaverse Roadmap points to the millions of youths who already use worlds like Habbo Hotel and Playdo, and suggests that “Youth raised in such conditions might live increasingly Spartan lives in the physical world, and rich, exotic lives in virtual space.” It makes a certain kind of sense: why cripple yourself with huge mortgage payments on “real” real-estate when on Second Life you can buy an entire island for $1,600 and $300/month maintenance?

Marty and Joe Business Brainstorm on Second Life

Marty: “OK the initial reports about Second Life are in. It seems marketers are having a hard time making money directly and there are some “problems”. Drugs, prostitution, nudity etc. Nothing unusual, the same kind of stuff you see in IRC only with avatars.”

Joe: “Problems. Good. Problems are usually market opportunities Marty.”

Marty: “True. What are you thinking?”

Joe: “Well according to ground reports they actually have “free” and complete “doobie” and drug kits to dispense virtual drugs, joints that exhale simulated particle effects and auto chat scripts to the message line every x random times messages like “you smell california chronic”…..They even have a “hit of sunshine” you can place on your HUD to simulate LSD effects.”

Marty: “Hmmm. So we build a “Marijuana Island”. Seems like the demographic is pretty poor. You thinking t-shirts, caps, that kind of stuff?”

Joe: “That is short-term Marty- think bigger- this is the attention economy. Wouldn’t the feds be interested in an inter-state, pro-marijuana island in SL?”

Marty: “Yes, yes I think they would. We could make it an Alternate-Reality-Game to educate people on the effects of drugs. We can have all the “virtual drugs” made and
laced with some tracking using the scripting language. We can find out who are the “weed passers” and those within range of the smoke. Then we append the information from a social network.”

Joe: “The pay off is what? Some funding from a drug education group?”

Marty: “Nah….not enough dollars. We sell it all to the feds in act of revolt as we quietly go “Jerry Ruben 2.0″, they get to nail a few silicon hippies, and ironically we can take our money and relocate to Amsterdam.”

Joe: “I like it- this has legs. Get Winthrop and the legal team in here…and find a way to plug it into Facebook- it’s hot right now.”

Marty: “You know…this might even be more lucrative in China…virtual worlds are huge there.”

Popularity: 6% [?]

(note in reverse order- last is first)

Robert Scoble, Wayne Porter- Scrabulous, Twitter, Blame Ev.

Posted in Blogging, Facebook, Gaming, Lifestyle Evolution, Mobile, Pownce, Recreation, Satire, Second Life, Skype, Social Networks, Twitter, Web 2.0 by wayne.porter on August 3rd, 2007

We kick off this story with Robert Scoble wanting to play Scrabulous inside of Facebook. Cool- I am up for it and figure since I am on vacation- gaming would be good. Let us note his blog entries…

Off we Go: (in FACEBOOK) Wayne is playing Scrabulous with Robert. 11:16pm

GAME ACTION

Wayne Porter opens up with TARP for 12
Robert Scoble responds with plural ROOFS for 10.
Wayne Porter responds with ORDAIN for 9
Robert Scoble responds with TELL for 4

Now making the match 21-14.

Wayne Porter gets aggressive and plays TILLED for 14 and Robert….well

THE GAME GETS BETTER

Read these “micro-chunks” and “cross terrain” diversions…This is what happens when a Media Navigator/Security Researcher and a Mega-Blogger & Media Evangelist armed with video (and neither have ever met) try to play a new game…inside of a social platform. Bicameralism in popular culture? Think Neal Stephenson and first several books (The Big U, Zodiac, Snow Crash) tackle the bicameral mind theory…Snow Crash again…

WAYNE PORTER- TWEETS

These are my responses as I interact with Robert while his attention is split in a number of ways…and I attempt to get it using the Skype connector. The timeline is hard to follow because frankly- I am worn out.

Get the whole stream here via RSS or select from here.

LOL Scoble is twittering during our first Facebook Scrabulous game. Media junkie! about 2 hours ago from web

Just changed his Skype topic to http://twitter.com/wporter/… about 2 hours ago from web 4 minutes ago from Facebook in reply to Scobleizer.

Skype topic with Robert is now http://www.pownce.com/Corwi… (which throws this out of whack again) about 1 hour ago from web

@Scobleizer LOL- took a Skweet (hybrid Skype-Tweet) to catch you- I implore your wife to get you a “hyper-media intervention specialist”. about 2 hours ago from web in reply to Scobleizer

With Others Previous What am I thinking? I need to invent something that streams RSS into a P2PTV client that functions with an I.V. line and G-Tube. (This … … about 1 hour ago from Facebook)

@Scobleizer SMS from here on out…I know our game is on hold, but I have this written up and it needs to cross some more terrain.

4:03am FOR GOOD MEASURE

Wayne sent a free gift to Robert Scoble. Inside of Facebook- a JPG of a Turtle with the note-

“Thank God it isn’t Chess” and the E-mail option off. He will never see that…micro-chunkers hate e-mail.

So we are a few moves into the game…and

ROBERT NOT ONLY TWITTERING- BUT PRODUCING: SAMPLE

Robert created a new kyte show. 4:06am

Robert wrote a new WordPress blog post. 3:59am

Robert Scoble wrote Amazon rolls out Flexible Payment Service at Scobleizer.

Robert wrote a new WordPress blog post. 3:19am

Robert Scoble wrote What the hell is up with our kids today? at Scobleizer.

Robert updated Twitter. 3:18am

Inspirational 14-year-old geek: http://tinyurl.com/2g875x — what is happening to our youth today?

Robert posted a video. 2:45am

At the same time twittering during all of this production and it took a Tweet into a Skype Chat Title to “get attention”

ROBERT’S TWITTER TIMELINE

i just put up my face talking about Amazon http://tinyurl.com/ywuzg5 25 minutes ago from twitterrific

I love Kyte.tv 26 minutes ago from twitterrific

@balaji_dutt: I hate direct messages. Everything I do I like doing in public. That way nothing is ever hidden from you. 30 minutes ago from twitterrific in reply to balaji_dutt

@JeffBarr: OK, let’s do something when I am up in Seattle for Gnomedex. I’ll be there the two days after Gnomedex and my schedule is open. 38 minutes ago from twitterrific in reply to jeffbarr

@ChrisSaad: everyone knows my number. I’m just trying to keep the line open. 40 minutes ago from twitterrific in reply to ChrisSaad

@JeffBarr: only if you can find them in the next few minutes. I want you. 41 minutes ago from twitterrific in reply to jeffbarr

(That’s for Jeff Barr only please). 42 minutes ago from twitterrific

Wanna call me at 425-205-1921 right now? 43 minutes ago from twitterrific

Jeff, can we do a voice interview? 43 minutes ago from twitterrific

@JeffBarr is going to own TechMeme because this is brilliant to tease us and keep us waiting for his post. 44 minutes ago from twitterrific in reply to jeffbarr

@ccmehil: hold that thought until next week. I’d love to find a way to get him a MacBook. about 1 hour ago from twitterrific in reply to ccmehil

@ratherfancy: when i was 14 I was playing with computers, but not seriously. I think I was watching too much Star Wars. about 1 hour ago from twitterrific in reply to ratherfancy

I forgot about Susan Wojcicki. her garage is where Google started. http://tinyurl.com/n2mpl about 1 hour ago from twitterrific

@ChrisVanPatten: yeah, it’s just fun when you meet someone who is so put together at 14. I’d love to meet you too. about 1 hour ago from twitterrific

@ravbaker: this kid is just amazing. I don’t know where kids like this come from. about 1 hour ago from twitterrific in reply to ravbaker

Inspirational 14-year-old geek: http://tinyurl.com/2g875x — what is happening to our youth today? about 1 hour ago from twitterrific

@wporter: it’s even worse than that. Im watching the Simpsons, reading feeds, AND playing you at Scrabulous! about 2 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to wporter

@jabancroft: yeah, if Jeff Barr tells us his Amazon secrets it’ll only be between the three of us! Heheheh. about 2 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to jabancroft

@JeffBarr has us all hot and bothered over some rumbling from Amazon. OK, Jeff, spill the beans! about 3 hours ago from

Robert- behind on the game or the schedule? (Wayne notes next time challenge Robert to Tic-Tac-Toe…less attention needed)

SKYPE DIRECT CONNECT

Now recall I am changing Skype topics (WE HAD IT OPEN WHOLE TIME) from time to time…our attention to the game in an ephemeral fashion, while both working on things. I am on east coast- he is on west. His first response to lack of movement is when I post a Twitter URL into the Topic of Skype.

For the sake of learning something, or maybe a chuckle…I’ll post a snip or so, I think he will understand. Not like it would stop me anyway- that whole Monkey Phone Call thing and all…water under the bridge. Note times.

[12:25:47 AM] Wayne Porter says: you alive on scrabble or is this a multi-day game?

[12:45:47 AM] Robert Scoble says: I just got back.

[12:45:53 AM] Robert Scoble says: So, will join in shortly.

[12:46:07 AM] Wayne Porter says: k- i’ll debate harrelson on social labeling in interim

[1:32:23 AM] Wayne Porter says: are you multi-tasking?

[1:42:49 AM] Wayne Porter has changed the chat topic to “Spell Feldman for $10 donation to app makers”

[2:20:05 AM] Wayne Porter has changed the chat topic to “http://twitter.com/wporter/statuses/183941132”

[2:29:49 AM] Wayne Porter has changed the chat topic to “Tragic http://twitter.com/wporter/statuses/183951402”

[2:41:26 AM] Wayne Porter has changed the chat topic to “Can’t help himself http://www.pownce.com/CorwinCorp/notes/415772/forward/”

[3:10:20 AM] Robert Scoble says: heh, yeah. I’m way behind, though.

[3:10:50 AM] Wayne Porter says: i was almost sending you an SMS

WAYNE WAS BUSY TOO

A smattering…again in reverse order- latest first where my attention was.

Wayne sent a free gift to Robert Scoble. 4:03am ( A Turtle with message saying “Thank God This Isn’t a Chess Game.)

Wayne updated Twitter. 11:59pm
@samharrelson olds on Sokal was weak, let’s say check and I offer up Noam Chomsky…

Wayne updated Twitter. 11:48pm
@chrispirillo Never did- until the iPhone…now I do.

Wayne updated Twitter. 11:43

@Scobleizer Java Locked on IE- I am good to go with Firefox…will trace Java app next time…your move. Sam jump in…u can put PHD to use

During this span I was talking to my son, debating Sam on post-modernism at CostPerNews.com, syncing up podcasts with the new iPhone (yes- it is changing how I take in media), making my Facebook post-modern joke about Crowley to riposte at Sam over his slap at my Sokal inspired attack on post-modernism, twittering and reading up on educational labeling and implications for marketing. (Sam I think you are a genius, but you are wrong- I’ll gather more research.)

Labeling Theory Tested: Pygmalion in the Classroom
Rosenthal, R., and Jacobson, L. (1968). Pygmalion in the Classroom. New York: Rinehart and Winston.

“they then selected 20 percent of the students at random - without any regard to their intelligence test results - and told the teachers that these students could be expected to “bloom” or “spurt” in their academics that year. At the end of the year, they came back and re-tested all the students.”

….

Labeling matters, and the younger the person getting the label is, the more it matters

I know it is from 1968- is that still contemporary?

To close… I am about to fire off an SMS- hell yes I am, but there is movement in Facebook- crafty Scoble…at around 5:33 am I check in game…

Robert has moved in with a play of RETELL for 6 bringing him to 20….

I’m holding all kinds of weird letters, but have had time to think while I was writing this post, fortunately I had a BLANK tile, and the good fortune of having a grand-father-in-law who invented automated biochemistry. I recalled “OXYACID” from a happy hour talk being any acid that contains oxygen (we were discussing zinc air fuel cells and/or something about renin-angio tension cycle and hypertension I think).

I recalled common ones include sulfuric acid- H2+SO4 or phosphoric acid H3PO4 + H2O or Nitric Acid H+N+O3. Yes a bit archaic, but so was the chemist. Good for 27 points.

Porter: 62
Scoble: 20

At 5:54 Eastern I write in-game “I can’t believe I or you are still at this and I am documenting it…we have lost it.”

. At least I have, and really not lost it- I have found “it”. Fast, efficient, compressed communication.

Because while Robert Tweets, as do birds outside my window- and they are twittering like many people are- this game isn’t over yet…57 Tiles left. I still have to go in Second Life- so Robert- I hope you are not awake. If you move- Twitter me- I’ll have on my SLTweets HUD which is terrain agnostic- no matter how alien SL is- the message can travel.

In the end I am going to just blame Evan Williams founder of Obvious…although I am sorry to hear about Sarah’s tooth Ev. (See personal nature of Twitter)

Thanks for all this fun as Sam documents Robert’s video on Twitter HQ.

This stuff isn’t hard to understand because the concept is simple, although it maybe a bit hard on the people out exploring, stretching and flying around the fast growth and implications of the movement. It might also be hard to swallow for those who have a vested interest in the top-down structure.

This “micromedia” is here to stay…not all companies will survive but the die is cast and that alphabetical caste system is not as important.

Your move Robert…take your time. The media is your choice of course, and where and when you choose to focus your attention is yours as is mine. The brief feeling of overload goes away once people have earned the attention- and anyone can earn today.

The Twitter Machine:: Reflections on Language

Blogging facebook Gaming microblogging microchunking mobile Net Lifestyle Pownce Recreation Satire Second Life Skype Social Networks twitter wayne porter web2.0

Popularity: 10% [?]

fiction Kwisatz Haderach Language & Sound Reading & Literature Satire Science Second Life Tribute Video

Kurt Vonnegut Lives on in The Grid of Second Life

Posted in Fiction, Kwisatz Haderach, Language - Sound, Reading - Literature, Satire, Science, Second Life, Tribute, Video by wayne.porter on April 17th, 2007

Recently deceased, and one of my famous authors, Kurt Vonnegut lives on- at least for me- and damn is he funny! Odd to think of his recent death happening while i was unaware and pondering Asimov, Robotics, Nanontechnology and Engines of Creation. They were both humanists too- he and Isaac Asimov.

It is a bit surreal in the world of Second Life- he is hysterical- the quotes and quips are fantastic. Slaughterhouse Five is a must read…among others. This makes me so sad….he is gone, but he is so alive (verbally) and expressive in the metaverse.

So now I have to ask- what will be the effect on humanity if we interact in “avatar form” for long periods? After we die we leave “almost spectral” after images of ourselves? Think about that…for a moment…and reflect.

Back to Kurt Vonnegut. He even graded his own books…(Kwisatz Haderach Award)

In Chapter 18 of his book Palm Sunday “The Sexual Revolution,” Vonnegut states that the grades “do not place me in literary history” and that he is comparing “myself with myself.” The grades:

Player Piano: B
The Sirens of Titan: A
Mother Night: A
Cat’s Cradle: A-plus
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater: A
Slaughterhouse-Five: A-plus
Welcome to the Monkey House: B-minus
Happy Birthday, Wanda June: D
Breakfast of Champions: C
Slapstick: D
Jailbird: A
Palm Sunday: C

About Clip: the national, weekly public radio program The Infinite Mind made broadcast history as it aired a four-part special taped inside the three-dimensional virtual on-line community Second Life. Among those interviewed in front of a live virtual audience were author Kurt Vonnegut. This is a machinema video of Vonnegut’s interview taped inside Second Life, on the 16-acre virtual broadcast center built by Lichtenstein Creative Media, which produces the program. The host is John Hockenberry.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Abbadon bread and circuses dont be evil government memo matrix Pearl Monk personal privacy Project Bolted Vine Satire user generated content web2.0 web20

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Transmission From Station Pearl Monk

Posted in Civic Issues, Google Verse, Lifestyle Evolution, Memetic Engineering, Personal Privacy, Satire, Social Networks, The Viral Dance, Web 2.0 by wayne.porter on March 14th, 2007

I greatly edited a piece I did months ago…and I added some radical changes based on recent thoughts. enjoy this transmission for you who read in the post-modern fashion.

To: Brines Grey
From: Pearl Gray
Research Station: Pearl Monk

Re: Revisions to Organizational Control -
Project: Bolted Vine

Our original plan to inject the veil into the dominant operating system has changed. Analysts have determined this will link our project, now dubbed “Bolted Vine”, into a potential point of critical failure. We are unwilling to accept this risk thus “Abaddon” has been deleted. Armed with public capital, we will vault high a new star, a self-sustaining entity that will gather the information that will feed O/C using an array of self-spreading, cognizant technology bolted into the vine as they are formed. All designed to make existence easier- for comfort is the key. We are borrowing inspiration from the ancient panem et circenses* - bread and circuses. Is it cruel if we come bearing light?

We have based “Bolted Vine” upon this inspiration- The vast majority of consumers are willing to accept an exchange as long as they are able to make this trade-off in a currency they find of lesser value at that particular moment. We are the bringer, yes- of convenience, ease of use, and monetary benefit. It is vendible since it is only privacy.

We have new, albeit reluctant, partnerships that provide scalable, redundant, low-cost maintenance, and self-sustenaining systems. It should be relatively easy to realize our goals of broad spectrum, global penetration. We shall be the bringer, yes the bringer of an epic rage against the old media machine. We will give away all that is needed and further the cause of “The Grid”. Naturally the limitations of this project are substantial, encumbered by creative limits and hardware. The needed multi-terraflop speeds will not arrive until 2010 and we cannot wait. However, the project and dark fiber are here. It is only a matter of time before they are joined.

To achieve critical mass we have identified a strategy to evolve, to move like lichen into the underpinnings of every level of the grid and beyond. We will make use of two primary digital goods- online music and online video. We had planned to use known, popular artists to achieve our end goal and continue to grow our own stable of assets, but have found that the users themselves are enamored with their own reflection. They are willing to create what we need.

These goods are especially desired by a young audience who lack the ability to make careful decisions of their trade-offs, like two-liters of soda for a credit card on a college campus. Not that older generations show much ability to make these decisions either. Analysts at the Pearl Monk predict in no more than ONE generation, resistance will be minimal to non-existent- save for a few zealots that no one will heed or believe.

We are in negotiations with the needed distributors and believe we shall be able to strike amicable deals with the digital rights industry to assist them to better monetize their goods. This is especially true in light of the on-going impact of digital piracy eroding their bottom line. Add the threat of user-generated content they have no choice but to acquiesce or partake.

Also of note there have been several laws in Congress that could impact our forms of monitoring. These initiatives have stymied and Congress has taken no demonstrable action. Nor shall the FTC interfere any further except to punish token rogues. We have also made excellent inroads at putting insiders into key positions. It is evident how we must devote our time, so it is veiled and not bedeviled or vetoed by the ones beloved by the masses.

We can achieve critical mass and we will mine interactions on a meta and micro level and couple this with field intelligence. Most importantly, in unique situations, we can utilize customized routines to activate cams, microphones for ambient sound collection and other built-in surveillance equipment up to and including supplanting the means to apprehend problematic individuals before they harm themselves or The Vine. These tools are built into the machines as de facto tokens. This is not only efficacious, but far cheaper long-term.

End Transmission…
Sending Station: Pearl Monk

*Reference Reading for Readers on Bread and Circuses. Latin Term: panem et circenses.

Bread and circuses is a derogatory phrase which can describe either government policies to pacify the citizenry, or the shallow, decadent desires of that same citizenry. In both cases, it refers to low-cost, low-quality, high-availability food and entertainment, and to the exclusion of things which the speaker considers more important, such as art, public works projects, democracy, or human rights.

It originated as the Latin phrase “panem et circenses” (literally “bread and circuses”), and is thought to have been coined by Juvenal, a Roman satiric poet of the 1st century AD, to describe the practice of Roman Emperors who gave unlimited free wheat to the poor and costly circus games as a means of pacifying the populace with food and entertainment. Juvenal bemoaned that it was a deplorable apathy towards heroism.

In fact, the system of free or heavily subsidized food distribution was limited to a minority of Roman Citizens holding a special token (tessera) entitling them to a monthly supply of grain and olive oil from the reign of Septimus Severus. The rations were probably too small to feed a family and the receivers were not necessarily poor or in need of free food. This does not change the fact that the food supply to a city the size of Rome was of primary concern to the emperors in order to avoid popular unrest.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Make Your own E-Cards Toys

ZeFrank and Strange Widgets, Toys, Why I hate my Colleagues

Posted in Lifestyle Evolution, Recreation, Satire, Social Networks, Web 2.0 by wayne.porter on February 24th, 2007

I had the misfortune of missing ZeFrank (Zay) while at RSA, but I hear he is coming to the next Affiliate Summit. Yeah. I special plan must be hatched.

While exploring around his site I came across general- fun- toys and such, and movies of fruit- with fingers and drill bits inside of them. The kind of experiments that Hell.com used to be put on years ago only much less obtuse.

Enjoy

DToy Toy

Byokal Toy

The Scribbler

The more I browsed the stranger it got, lots of neat and useless or perhaps useful things. Certainly creative things and rubber duckies. I hate it that my friends convinced me to watch ZeFrank.

Really don’t watch the show- if you do you will be hooked. Then it ends soon anyway. That is what I like about ZeFrank. He giveth and taketh away.

affiliate summit drill bits e cards fun toys hell misfortune RSA rubber duckies scribbler stranger wayne porter.com zay zefrank

Popularity: 4% [?]

Web 2.0 AJAX Catch Up for Web 1.x WebSites

Posted in Satire, Web 2.0 by wayne.porter on February 20th, 2007

Web+2.0 Beta Beta

This will make my colleauge, and ultra-tight coder and Ninja organizer, Jan, absolutely cringe and Don laugh and lose his mind. During research one sometimes finds a real treasure.

I present Ajaxload.info. A Web 2.0 Gif creator of something (you decide) loading…go ahead and be creative as more than likely nothing happens in the background, but you have something web 2.0 to tout!

Current options include complete control over gif transparency, color and all of these wonderful AJAXian created icons: Circle ball, Indicator, Kit, Arrows, Indicator Big Snake, Bouncing ball, Three different bars, Circling ball, Hypnotize, Wheel, Expanding Circle, Radar, Refresh, Flower, Squares, Circle Thickbox, Roller, Wheel Throbber, Small Wait Time, 3D Rotation, Indicator light, Squares Circle, Big Snake, and a Big Circle ball.

This service is made with valid XHTML & CSS! The fact that over 3 million of these things have been created is fairly disturbing and it is still in “beta”. Just like most of Google.

Satire web2.0

Popularity: 2% [?]

RSA Post of the Yesterday- PWNED

Posted in Satire, Security, Travels by wayne.porter on February 7th, 2007

Yes- you are protected (ahem), according to Alex Eckleberry’s blog as Sunbelt’s Eric Sites demonstrates… (Hello to Chad and Eric S. who attended our party- Eric was in a wheelchair for some reason…we had nothing to do with that.) demonstrate in this story.

Did I mention I had a wonderful talk with a Zango rep. yesterday? Poor fellow- he was new…I did my civic duty and educated him.

Paperghost managed to get up like four photos before he fell asleep….

Now we are off to center…more to follow.

ADDENDUM: It appears our presentation was a success based on feedback. Where else can you mention Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and Mr. Bean in one presentation on botnets? Also we ran our active-x LITE scanner on a machine in the speaker’s lounger- you guessed it…we needed to do a little extermination ourselves…

Blogging facetime owned Pwned RSA RSA Conference Security Sunbelt Software wayne porter Zango

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From Second Life “Marriage Department”

Second Life Partners… Don’t like Marriage in RL- Test Drive It

Posted in E-Commerce, Lifestyle Evolution, Satire, Second Life by wayne.porter on November 2nd, 2006

From the Kinda-Satire Department

SECOND LIFE MARRIAGE & DIVORCE

Linden Labs tweaks reality again- you can now propose online and “be married” in Second Life. Not sure if there are tax breaks though, but a good test run…i use marriage loosely because there are folks with wings, beaks, purple skin…one of my pals is occassionally a damn zebra- go figure that out…is that legal? This person has an IQ of 140+ yet spends part of their time as a zebra.

Anyway we probably should make virtual marriage mandatory in the future. It is like an “extended test-drive”.

Some Advantages:

No STDs- yet. I am sure someone will create a digital version of syhpillis.
Ageing- yes simulate saggy body parts, grey spots, lost hair all that stuff.
Mandatory erectile dysfunction- go ahead and simulate it and see how it goes. Viagra not an option.
Babies- well people do have them in Second Life (somehow), but I am pretty sure you can de-rezz them or something and I think adoption is like putting up a want ad. Again I didn’t see any tax breaks on the Lindex Market
Body shape- older you get- the more whacked out you become. If you are under 25 and thinking about it guys (or gals)- take on an opposite sex avatar and screw it all up with lumps, 50 lbs, and a beard. Then walk around and see what happens.
Unfortunately you don’t die- I think. I haven’t tried it. But no easy way out, well cancel your account.

Prostitution is legal in most areas- so if you ARE down on your luck…well- you can make ends meet- there are plenty of strange activities in the Grid. Did I mention Zebras?

You get the idea folks. Most importanly divorces cost more than getting hitched- like in real life…but a fraction of the normal cost in RL. At the current $L270:1 ratio we are talking like less than a candy bar- try that in real life my friend.

My goal: I am thinking about trying to get the World Record for most marriages and divorces in a digital world…why not? Don’t worry- no zebras - unless they pull a fast one- and some will. You were warned.

Second Life couples can now make their relationships official. Whether you’re married or just connected, you can designate your partner on your profile in-world and make your relationship visible to the rest of the community. Send your proposal to the avatar of your dreams using the form below. Partnering, like real life marriage, costs money. To create a partnership will cost each partner L$10. If you decide to divorce later, the person requesting the divorce will be charged L$25.

Can’t be married in real life? Try Second Life!

Can we get a damn Old Testament teacher please? Let Sam figure this one out…

Popularity: 5% [?]

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Rumor: Google Death To Launch- GDeath Service Coming Soon

Posted in Google Trends, Google Verse, Lifestyle Evolution, Satire by wayne.porter on July 29th, 2006

Insider rumor has it Google Labs (NASDAQ:GOOG) is preparing to launch their latest and hippest experiment ever- Google Death. GDeath is an online mortality service, an after-life aggregator and death date predicator all rolled into one convenient system to make crossing over even easier.
An insider working at Google leaked: “GDeath is a completely new way to triangulate in on the mortality challenges of individuals and to alert people when they are approaching their finite time on Earth. GDeath only makes use of data in aggregate so while Google knows you are dead we don’t know it is really, really, truly you- we just suspect it might be you. Google can’t predict exactly when you are going to die, but based on your searching habits we can get pretty damn close.”

How will this be accomplished? Through the use of dark fiber, distributed computing models, Bluetooth enabled gravestones and providing each dead person with their own after-life IP address. Google also makes use of a GUSD (Google User Soul Device) implanted directly into the soul making the data resistant to algor, pallor and rigor mortis.

The service is rumored to sport or work with the following features / services:

GDeath Cache- Using the cache feature of GDeath users can ensure their last online moments are archived perfectly for the comfort of friends and family.

GDeath Trends- Find mortality trends and zero in on the various diseases, wars, famines and freak accidents wiping people out all over the globe by region and by popular query.

GDeath Earth- Find useful maps of where you died, where friends died and the ability to find hot war zones and high mortality areas. Future plans include death videos so you can bypass Internet shock sites or relive your death over and over in case it was really fascinating, cool or kind of unique.

DeathSense- Patented technology enables users to get a pretty good estimate on how and when they will die based on their searching, spending and online habits. DeathSense also provides contextually targeted advertisements to relieve boredom for those trapped in any type of short or long-term purgatory.

Gmail compatible- Using the GDeath alarm features users are able to create various alerts to remind them when they are engaging in high risk or plain silly behaviors that might cause their untimely demise.

Digg and Reddit Integration- Through the use of a Dead Man’s Switch users can now publish their last moments to the Digg or Reddit services to see how popular or unpopular their death really was.

The anonymous Google insider also commented: “At Google the goal is to organize the world’s information in a useful dataset to best serve users. After much internal debate we decided that dead people count for something too. The release of this product will not delay our launch dates for GDad, Gmom, GPet, GFamily or GWhiz Google Snacky-Time Products nor should it impede any performance based marketing deals with the devil.”

Yahoo! did not respond to the product leak but speculation has it they are working on Yuicide! - a digital suicide planning and life ending portal based on the work of Jack Kevorkian.

* GDeath can work with any grave, sarcophagus, crypt, sepulchre, or ossuary.

** Not compatible with cremation or some Windows-based systems.

*** So long and thanks for all the fish. The answer remains 42.

Important Note: Users who have experienced GDeath might consider donating their wealth to causes in Second Life.

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